Idioteex

Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Students are usually united according to common interests specified by some aspects. Common specialty is among of the most important circumstances. Students of one and the same faculty have their specific jokes and their special slang. Such jokes are related with their teachers, with the nature of the specialty or with special characteristics of their educational process. For instance, foreign languages department is usually called a ‘fiancee department’ as a lot of girls study there. Professional Humor. Programmers’ Humor Programmers’ jokes are not clear for other people. For instance, such joke as this: Q: Why do programmers always get Xmas and Halloween mixed up? A: Since DEC 25 = OCT 31 …may be comprehended only by one of the computer people. A person who knows computer a little can take pleasure in something like this: The Programmers’ Perk: Shift to the left, to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte! Physics Jest Various specialty-oriented jokes are widespread among physics. Murphy’s Law, applied to such physical thing as buttered toast law, says that if bread with butter falls buttered side lands down; or the chance of buttered toast landing with buttered side down is in proportion to floor coverings value. In other worlds, it means that when something can go wrong and turn out inconveniently it will definitely be so. Combining this law and the statement that a cat always lands on its feet, physics invented another joke: a buttered cat paradox. A physic considers a cat caring on its back again a tied buttered toast : if cats land on their feet and buttered toast land with buttered side down a cat has no choice but to fly. Chemists’ Joke Chemists’ jests are grounded on odd and paradoxalical factors of chemical tests and ideas. There are some parodies to periodic table (for example, The periodic table of refused elements).  Read more...

It’s commonly acknowledged that sex before marriage, an occasional cocktail or two, or cursing is not going to cause you to burn in hell. However, in your spiritual quest perhaps you’ve asked yourself, “what isn’t acceptable behavior, that would make me incur negative karma?”

Our experience and findings tell us that it’s generally a matter of avoiding intentionally hurting yourself or anyone else.

Saying or doing something politically incorrect, in itself, won’t earn you years of karmic punishment in return. However, intentionally inserting historical myths about the Revolutionary War in public school curriculum, to further your political agenda, for example, will incur negative karma.

We’re firm advocates of the funny side of life (believe it or not!). In fact, the raunchier the better, as far as we’re concerned. We believe that humor helps to balance out the heavy seriousness so often found in spirituality.

A good laugh (at nobody’s expense…well, unless they’re really asking for it) does wonders in snapping you out of a funky state of mind. It’s uplifting and it’s good for your soul.

We’ll share a funny exchange from Facebook to illustrate our point:

“Sc.P. is vacuuming his chest hair, pouring a bourbon, and pressing his white pant-suit (not all at the same time).”

The following includes some of the responses by others related to that post.

A.J.M.: “Vacuuming your chest hair?”

Sc.P.: “Yeah, I grew it out like Austin Powers. I’m going for a 1970s look.”

A.J.M.: “Hence the white pant-suit. Okay, Mr. Travolta. Don’t forget the gold chains.”

Sc.P.: “Gold chains, check. Platform shoes, check. Lava lamp, check. Perm and lamb-chop sideburns, check. Wonton spirit, check. Sexist attitude, check. Enough booze to float a barge, check. What else? Hmm.”  Read more...

Now, wait a minute. You are not a stage comedian or an actor. Your job is to sell something, not put on a clown act. How does humor fit into customer service?

And that’s exactly why this works: Everybody thinks just like the above paragraph. Because everybody thinks that way, nobody uses humor to ease a customer transaction. This causes the business world to take on a droning, monotonous tone: “How are you?” “Would you like a receipt?” “Thank you for shopping with us.” “Can I get you anything to drink with that?” “How may I assist you?’

It goes on and on, a routine that everybody sleepwalks through. Clearly, you don’t have to be very funny to break up the rhythm. Even a little, tiny bit funny does very, very well in the jet stream of flowing consciousness that is the consumer’s day. And they will remember it for the rest of the day.

Here is one of the best examples I’ve ever seen from real life. Do you like calling a business and hearing one of those droning phone menus that tell you to push a button for each option? Well, here’s another one:

Welcome to International Discount Brokerage!

This call may be recorded or monitored for quality assurance.

For stock trading, press 1.

To order a new account kit, press 2.

For stock quotes, press 3.

For other customer service, press 4.

If you are a netware points benefits customer, press 5.

To hear more about our easy-buy program, where you can secure future stock credits, press 6.

If you would like to hear a duck quack, press 7.

If you know your party’s extension, press 8.

To return to the main menu, press 9…

Or stay on the line for the next available customer service representative.

Thank you.  Read more...

Humor is a good way to break the ice, and short jokes are particularly effective as they are easy to tell and easy to remember. School pranks are common, but the best high school gags can be said to be the ones where everybody ends up laughing together.

Meanwhile, while you are trying to draw the eyes of many, there is an effective way to save you from yourself. You can still be an attention-catcher by just plainly walking on the street. Below is a small list of the slang used in the 1960s. Some are still commonly used today, while others are not and some are just clearly dated but we love them anyway.

On the one hand, I am a respon¬si¬ble father and hus¬band. Patient, cre¬ative and fru¬gal. On the other hand, I am an aggres¬sive poker player – impa¬tient, impul¬sive and some¬times reckless. All they do is text and get gnarly with all their friends. The driver in my novel is much more rigid than the other 3 passengers, refusing to text while driving because it’s just too dangerous.

Smiling out loud for 10 minutes regularly can help you become healthy person both physically and mentally. So laugh away your worries and enjoy life to fullest. Its coworkers noticed a shift in personality after a series of long nights spent in the company of the Governator. It grew more sullen, tired, and withdrawn. After a week-long political retreat in Tahiti, California’s Income Tax Extension.

He carefully spreads fertilizer on the third floor, and then waters it. Satisfied, he goes to the second floor and repeats the process. He fertilizes the family quarters on the first floor, and finally Good material will not be funny if the shipping is poor and likewise, bad comedy material can perhaps turn hilarious thanks to the presentation skills.  Read more...

How’s the cash flow been at your house lately?  Getting worse instead of better?  Wondering when these horrendous economic times are finally going to turn around so that the majority of us can keep our heads above water again?  Me, too.

Pretty much everyone I know is broke, near broke or has less and less money to spend each month.  Some of those who were quite well off before, have lost their homes, businesses, filed for bankruptcy or done all three.  The poor have gotten poorer, and more have joined their ranks.

Do you even allow yourself to dream or envision what the other side of all that would mean to you anymore?  Many do not because the thoughts of not having at least what they did before are just too painful to contemplate.  One acquaintance who is a struggling business owner probably summed up the feeling of many people when he said, “I will never make over 0,000 ever again in my lifetime.  Those days are gone forever.”  To me that translates to no hope.  I was there and scared, too like everyone else.

But my life’s philosophy is to laugh as much as possible and to find the humorous in every situation.  And I know for sure that whatever you think about most, positive or negative, you will receive.  And even though I believe that in theory, I hadn’t given much thought as to how it had been working so well with my fears, too.  I was fearful of my piling debt.  I was fearful of losing my home and going bankrupt.  Then one day it finally hit me.  I was getting exactly what I had been thinking about; more debt and less money.  Read more...